I see you mama.
You’re rushing to get your little one to preschool, the baby is asleep in the back seat, even though you were hoping he would nap when you got home so you could quick hop in the shower. You’ve got a stack of dishes needing to be washed in the sink. There’s a basket full of clean laundry that you’ve just been digging through for fresh underwear. You can’t remember the last time you and your husband went on date night. You don’t even know what the good restaurants are downtown anymore. And now it’s time for you to turn around and pick your preschooler up.
Damn those three hours went by fast!
They say “Being a mom is the hardest job you’ll ever love,” and I wholeheartedly believe that to be true. I also believe with a little change to your thoughts and cutting down the amount of time you think you need to do something is the answer to combat the overwhelm. Yep. I just said it.
Cut down the time you think you need. You don’t need 3 hours to pick up the Legos all over the basement floor. You don’t need to take a whole afternoon to watch your favorite 5-year-old scale the playground. You just need 15 minutes.
The rule of 15 is something I came up with this when I was struggling with “balance.” The first step in the rule: realize balance isn’t giving equal weight to everything all the time.
Think about when you put on that YouTube yoga video and go into tree pose. (No, you don’t do that? Okay, stick with me for a second here). You laser in your vision on something that’s completely still, like your yoga block or your oldest’s socks that he is ALWAYS leaving on the floor, but your body is moving and re-adjusting. You take a little from here, a little from there, give more to something else. It’s a give and take, you’re never giving all of your body parts equal balance. That’s why you have to do both legs. You can’t do both legs at once.
So, any notion you had of balance being a perfect, evenly weighted scale on both sides, throw that out the window.
Then the rule of 15 - dedicated 15 minutes to each of your children, your husband and you big household tasks each day. I have 3 boys so those 15 minutes look like:
baby 15 minutes is spent cuddling and coo-ing,
my 3-year-old we read together or build together,
my 6-year-old it’s playing a game or working through homework.
It’s no-phone, no internet, focused, dedicated time. I workout or do art for my 15 minutes for myself. I spend 15 minutes talking and holding hands and talking with my husband. That is a total of an hour and a half for my family.
I still have 22 and a half hours left in my day. Figure in my eight hours of sleep (you don’t want to be around me when I’m running on less). I still have 14 and a half hours to rock my business, read, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner and run my errands.
And then do a load of laundry every day from start to finish. Put on something educational (like a podcast or audiobook) or fun music or a favorite show while you’re folding, but honestly, it shouldn’t take that long if you’re doing it every day. And spending 15 minutes picking up. (If you’re still counting that’s still 14 hours left for all the other things.
Also, one of the best things I’ve done for myself is hiring a housekeeper to come in and deep clean once every 3 weeks for 3 hours. She does in 3 hours what would take me 3 days. Because cleaning with my boys is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos.
And if you want to talk more, I’m here for you. Feel free to send me an email ❤️